Write the vision and make it plain so even a runner can read it. That is found in the Christian Bible in Habakkuk 2:2. Not that I give two shits about what the bible says anymore but, there is something to that. This morning I woke up early, did my usual web surfing and sending recipes to my sister and then went back to sleep awhile. When I woke up, I was not in the best of moods and I honestly felt like just crying my eyes out. No, seriously, I wanted to cry my eyes out. This tunnel is so long, so cold, so dark. Thankfully there have been a few brights spots here and there or I honestly don’t think I would have made it. The ONLY thing I can do is to keep trying until I’m out of all of this. Once again I say, I feel as if I’m being punished for crimes I not only didn’t commit but know nothing about. It’s not even a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s a matter of complete and total mistaken identity. God help the individuals for whom that is a reality. Who have been incarcerated and or are sitting on death row because of something just like that. Life isn’t fair. Plain and simple life isn’t fair. The sooner I learn and accept that, the better off I’ll be. I think that may be true of pretty much everybody. Not much to say today, other than we are on the cusp of a new month. I can only hope it will bring some positive changes for me. Hey as long as I still have hope, which I do, I’m still in the game. End.
This morning whilst waiting for the bus I found on YouTube and listened to the song ‘We are the Champions’ by Queen. I’d never really paid much attention to the lyrics. It’s one of those songs, like so many, I recognized when I heard it and could sing along with the chorus but that was about the extent of it.
At any rate, as of late things have been beyond challenging for me. For the last decade plus, there has been one ordeal after another. Some of them devastatingly life altering. And just when I think it’s getting better, that the storm is FINALLY over, it clouds up again. That happened this week. I just knew I was a shoe in for a job that frankly paid more money than I had ever made. The recruiter promised I would hear by Friday (yesterday) I was already spending the money, in my mind, on thing I have been needing and wanting for absolute ages. I waited until mid afternoon, nothing. I sent an email to the recruiter, crickets. To say it was a let down would be a huge understatement.
Last night, for the first time in a long time, I began to wonder if there really isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel. If things really were never going to get any better and if life was going to just continue to suck and whether or not I truly didn’t have any hope whatsoever of a better life or realizing any of my hopes or dreams.
But this morning, as per usual, my resolve to keep trying had returned and here were are. But I digress, back to Freddie. When I really listened to the lyrics and heard him say:
I’ve paid my dues Time after time I’ve done my sentence But committed no crime And bad mistakes I’ve made a few I’ve had my share of sand Kicked in my face But I’ve come through
It was everything I could do to keep from bursting into tears. I cannot tell you how many years (I actually can) I’ve served for crimes I didn’t commit. To be clear I’m speaking metaphorically. And I’ve made some bone headed moves.
Here’s the kicker, the hardest part for me to accept is realizing I didn’t HAVE to serve the time. I CHOSE to serve the time by allowing people to treat me like shit. To be fair, some of it was my fault and some of it isn’t. I was raised in a totaliraian household. My father’s word was law. It didn’t matter if my Mom, sister and I liked it (whatever it was) or agreed. It didn’t even matter if it was fair or made sense (which frequently it wasn’t fair or neither did it make any sense) He said it and that was the end of it. Couple that with the fact that I was not just bullied, I was terrorized on a daily basis from sixth grade through my first year of college and we have a perfect recipe for being a doormat.
But guess what, that was then, and this is now. I’ll be transparent again and admit I have ZERO flippin’ clue how to do this blog thing. It’s at this point a new and foreign thing for me. I mean I know what a blog is, I’ve just never really done much with one until now. I’ve wanted to for a while but there was always some excuse. But what pushed me toward just doing it (you’re welcome Nike) is reading Mel Robbins’ book The 5 Second Rule.
In it she talks about just that. Just doing ‘whatever’ IT is. Taking action within 5 seconds of the idea popping into your head. There is so much more to it than that and I’ve not finished it yet but, I’ve read enough to help me take action on some things. Today for me it was blogging and going to a knitting group. We’ll see where this all goes. To be perfectly honest I’m not even completely sure everything it will be about. I know I plan to blog about a lot of alternative health things but, there will be plenty of other topics. Some of my posts will be about nothing in particular. I figure if people like it, groovy. If they don’t, groovy. They are free to move on.
Speaking of moving on I’m going to do just that. Move from here to my studies. 🩺👩🏿⚕️
Tonight is the last night for recipes from Benin. This is Caramelized Bananas in Pineapple Sauce. Ordinarily I don’t like fruity desserts especially on ice cream. But when I decided to move forward with this project I made the decision I was going to step out of my comfort zone and try some things I haven’t tried before. I have to say this tastes like something you would get in a fancy restaurant. Oh my goodness it is so good! Highly recommended. It’s very inexpensive and easy to make. The photo on the left is from the website the one on the right is mine. Tomorrow starts Brunei. 🇧🇳 Can hardly wait! 😊 #beninfood #internationalfood #bananadessert #westafricanrecipes #moreish #liveyourdreams #dinnerwithyoursweetie https://foreignfork.com/caramelized-bananas/
This week on January 2nd I started a project I have been wanting to do for a number of years now. And that is pick one country per week (at random) and make some authentic recipes from that country.
The first country selected was germany. So I made: pork schnitzel with dill sauce, German potato dumplings, and German chocolate cake which I have since learned is not authentically German. 😂
So far I’ve had an absolute ball. Next up on Sunday, is the country of Benin located in the northwest portion of the continent of Africa.
“Did you know when we were little, I used to pretend those flashing lights were morse code and I was a spy in the war?” Carla accepted the mug from Bill.
“ Oh yeah. I think I remember reading about all the little girl spies in history class”
“Yeah, yeah. Did you get the cake?”
“What cake?”
“What cake? Bill please don’t stand there and tell me you…”
“Calm down sis. Yes, I picked up the cake. Man, sixty years. Can you just imagine?”
“A lifetime. What’s written on it?”
Bill grinned “‘Happy Bar Mitzvah David, Mazel Tov!’” What else?”
I first heard that phrase a number of years ago and to be honest I can’t remember where or when. It was said by a woman with a very strong southern accent who was telling about a situation which was less than desirable. She said at one point during the event she said ‘This is gonna have to be sumthin’ differnt’ (something different) The general idea being whatever it was that was going on, needed to change for the better. I can’t tell you how many times I have said that since then. With that said, this year for Thanksgiving, I did ‘sumthin differnt. I made wonton soup, Mongolian Beef, and pumpkin mousse. I had full plans to make the traditional meal of turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and on and on. However, I decided I simply didn’t want to spend all of the money it takes to do that nor did I want to do the work.
True confessions, I stopped making the traditional meal a few years back. It was to help myself focus less on who and what was missing, and more on being thankful for what I do have. It’s actually a lot of fun coming up different things each year. Sometimes they work out and others not so much.
This year I am particularly proud of my accomplishment because I am still dealing with fatigue and the general feeling of malaise from long Covid. No fun. It took some doing but I got it done. One tradition I did honor was a trip to the grocery store. Believe you me I was not the only one there. I felt a weird mix of guilt and gratitude. Guilt because I knew it was because of people like me they have to be open on Thanksgiving but at the same time gratitude the store was open so I could get what I wanted.
All in all I had a perfectly lovely day. Yes, I missed my family but, in some ways I felt they were right here with me.
Tracy and Andi shouted and pointed at the boot at the same time.
“Jinx! You owe me a Coke” Andi joked.
“What a weird thing to include in a scavenger hunt.” Tracy said crossing it off the list. “Of course then again, Morgan is weird. Why this childish game? I don’t understand why we can’t just sit down and eat whatever bizzaro world, tree hugging thing he’s concocted for us to eat this time and have done with it”
“Hey, the winners of this childish game get a hundred bucks a piece. For that, his tofu can wait!”
“For someone who has a presentation to give in half an hour you don’t appear to be anywhere near ready Dr. Franklin-Lewis.”
Mona glanced up and grinned. “As the saying goes, appearances can be deceiving Dr. Lewis. As it would happen, I finished my speech an hour ago. I’m actually sitting here working on the grocery list while giving the plants a good steam bath. You want anything special this go round?”
Derrick looked down at his watch.
“Yes, to be on time for once”
“They’ll live if we’re a little late. Afterall, my talk is on linear time being a manmade thing.”
“For someone who has a presentation to give in half an hour you don’t appear to be anywhere near ready Dr. Franklin-Lewis.”
Mona glanced up and grinned. “As the saying goes, appearances can be deceiving Dr. Lewis. As it would happen, I finished my speech an hour ago. I’m actually sitting here working on the grocery list while giving the plants a good steam bath. You want anything special this go round?”
Derrick looked down at his watch.
“Yes, to be on time for once”
“They’ll live if we’re a little late. Afterall, my talk is on linear time being a manmade thing.”
decoratingpumpkinsdifferently 